Well Formed Outcomes with Jimmy Petruzzi
1. Well formed outcomes are stated in positive terms
It is often difficult to know what we actually want. Bad
experiences can loom so large all we can think of is what we
don’t want.
Negative commands can influence in unintended
ways
2. Self initiated and maintained.
Well formed outcomes must be what
you want rather than what
other people want to be congruent and motivating.
An outcome that involves pleasing other people is very difficult
to maintain. It is also indirect. For instance, losing weight
because your husband wants you to. You think it’s for him but
really, it’s to keep his interest.
Other people’s outcomes often trigger an unconscious rebellious
response resulting in internal conflict. Giving up smoking for
someone else particularly creates rebellion because it often
underlies this behavior originally.
Successful outcomes involve things over which we have control.
We do not have control over what other people think say or do.
“I want Mary to be polite to me” is not well formed. “I want to
stay centered and respond assertively when Mary is rude or, I
want to behave in a way that invites a polite response from
Mary” is well formed.
3. For what purpose do you want this outcome?
So why do
you want the outcome? We can sometimes confuse
ends with means and sabotage our real outcome. When my
daughter was young, I had an outcome to own a house. Interest
rates were high and we both made big sacrifices for this
outcome.
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My real outcome was for my daughter to feel secure in a stable
home environment. The house was the means not the end and
the sacrifices created less security.
If the outcome is originally for someone else, what do you
personally want to gain? You want to keep his interest so you
can have a strong partnership. That is what you need to focus
on. Hint – placating pleasing or grovelling is rarely sexy and not
good for equal partnerships.
4. Well formed outcomes are sensory based
What will you
see, hear and feel when you achieve the outcome?
Act as if you already have the outcome for the moment and
associate into the experience of having it. This gives your brain a
great deal of concrete information. We need to represent our
outcomes as processes. State it in see, hear, and feel terms.
What does it mean to you?
For instance, I can restate, “I want to be confident at work” as “I
am making eye contact, I feel centred and seek opportunities to
network. I hear myself speaking in a rich slow-paced voice and
listening carefully to the other person.”
5. Well formed outcomes are sequenced and bite sized
Outcomes can be overwhelming big chunks like writing a book or
buying a house. Framing in big chunks can make us feel
impotent – it seems like such a lot of time, effort and sacrifice to
do what it takes to make it happen.
Taking small actions everyday builds momentum and increases
motivation. Being able to make a movie of what you will do in
present time sets up a template. Mental rehearsal is an effective
way to get things done.
6. What resources do you need?
Sometimes we don’t get our outcomes because we don’t have
the resources we need. We jump ahead of ourselves without
considering if we are in a position to go for it right now.
What are the important sub goals we need to obtain first? Do
you require outside help?
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I want to write a book, and need access to a computer. I want to
get a job and need childcare arrangements. Sometimes these
can become excuses. I can’t get X because I don’t have Y.
Often the resources are available and can be organized,
particularly personal resources. What empowering
states and
beliefs would help you achieve your outcome easily and quickly?
For instance, I want to write two articles today. Useful resources
are focus, flow and enthusiasm. I might gain these by breaking
the task into small pieces, mental rehearsal, being clear about
my purpose, and remembering a focused state.
7. In what contexts do you want the outcome?
When, where and with whom do you want this outcome? Well
formed outcomes are situation specific. Failing to set a boundary
can result in over generalization. It may not be useful to focus,
relax or get up early every day in every circumstance. You may
need to yell at the kids if they are in danger.
Marking a specific context for a particular behaviour anchors the
response.
8. What is your evidence for fulfilment?
Specific measurable sensory outcomes have more power to
directionalize our minds.
How will you know when you have achieved the outcome?
Everyone’s evidence will be different. My evidence for a
productive day is not going to be the same as yours.
People often have outcomes like “I want to be successful in
business” What does success mean? How can I measure this
outcome? By the number of awards received? In financial terms?
Promotions in a certain time?
Outcomes represented in vague
nominalized terms give us
vague directions. What does a solid relationship look like? What
does confidence look like? What does assertiveness mean? How
will I know when I have it?
9. Well formed outcomes are compelling
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Compelling goals are more motivating. Have you ever watched a
movie that was so slow, dull and dreary you couldn’t be
bothered? How can you represent your outcomes so they propel
you?
What do you personally find motivating? Brighten up the colours,
amp up the soundtrack, make the pace faster and hear the
excitement in people’s voices. Is it more motivating to see
yourself in the movie (dissociated) or be as if you were actually
there (associated)? Being there in the state can sometimes
create indifference because in our imagination we already have
what we want. See the
association dissociation submodality
10. Well formed outcomes are ecological
We can’t separate our outcomes from the rest of our lives. We
have other priorities and important values. Our outcomes may
affect other people. Does it fit with who we are as a person, how
we see ourselves?
It is important that outcomes add to our choices rather than take
them away. In what ways might this outcome not be good for
us? Are there any contexts where having this outcome would not
work?
Setting Goals with Well Formed Outcomes
1. State your goal in the positive.
Think about what you want rather than what you don’t want. If you
still come up with something negative ask yourself “What do I want
instead?” In the context of weight loss what do you want?
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2. State it in simple terms.
If a five year old wouldn’t understand it, it may be too complex –
unlike some goal setting techniques your goal needs to be brief, simple
and specific. I.e. how many pounds do you want to lose and when,
what dress size would you like to fit in to, what size jeans
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3. State it in the present tense.
Make it as if it is happening now. I have, I am, I’m doing… what are
you doing right now, and attending this seminar is a positive step
forward
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4. Is it achievable and realistic?
Has someone else already achieved this or might they achieve this? Is
it realistic for you? If one person can achieve something then so can
you.
5. Set a time and make it an exciting outcome
There is some debate about setting a date and some people feel
uncomfortable about this. If it is a small goal then do it. If it is a really
big goal then I advise that you leave the time for the moment until it
starts to look like things are moving.
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6. Finally how will you achieve your goal?
For example
By going to the gym twice are week, going for a walk twice per week,
changing certain things you eat, doing things in a manageable way to
suit your lifestyle, choose exercises and activities you enjoy
Remember not to over estimate what you can achieve in a week and
under estimate what can be achieved in 6 months
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Remember losing weight and staying in shape is a lifestyle change.
There are many diets and fads on the market which people lose allot of
weight in a short amount of time. Only to put it back on and to risk
their health. One of the things I tell my clients is you didn’t put the
weight on over night, or in two weeks, the weight you put on was
through a gradual process of neglect. Creeping up on you.
To expect to lose all the weight you may have accumulated in a few
years, in just two weeks, probably isn’t feasible.
By making a few changes to what you eat, doing some activity and
exercise you enjoy, and integrating into a lifestyle change you are
building an effective platform to staying in shape and never looking
back.