THE NLP COMMUNICATION MODEL- Realise how you take in information, process it and act upon it.
- What filters do we use to perceive events?
We use our five senses to absorb raw sensory data and define a subjective reality of the world around us. This raw sensory data is filtered by our neurological and linguistic perceptual filters. This unconscious filtering also occurs to avoid burn out from the phenomenal amount of information our senses observe.
- Explain why external events trigger internal representations and affect your state and behaviour?
Although filtering is positive by releasing psychic energy which I would otherwise use for thinking, important information may be missed through this filtering process. This is because my perceptual filters may introduce generalisations, distortions and deletions dependent on my pre-existing internal emotional and cognitive containment. This could lead to my emotions and behavioural responses being influenced by my internal representations as I communicate with others and the environment around me.
- Explain how changing your behaviour can change someone else’s behaviour?
Understanding my generalisations, distortions and deletions allows me to effectively reprogram my internal experiential states. These reprogrammed internal states can then be represented in my presenting (observable) behaviour. As my changed behaviour is perceived by another a feedback loop is initiated due to their own perceptual filters
An example is: if I represent anger in my behaviour it will be responded to differently that if I represent happiness. This occurs because the other person’s perceptual filters will impose deletions, distortions or generalisations based on their pre-existing representational systems. Their response will then change their observable behaviour. As I respond to this behaviour I adjust my responses which they then observe…and so on as the feedback loop continues.
Another example is: when I work with patients who present with angry behaviour such as raised voice, agitation, flushed face and aggressive manner. By understanding my own filtering and avoiding judging them by my own map, I am able to remain calm. This is noticed by the patient who eventually responds by changing to a more malleable behaviour. At this point I bridge their map to my map and introduce different viewpoints that may be useful for future work with the patient.
Therefore, by understanding my behaviour and modifying it I can influence change of someone else’s behaviour. The feedback loop allows me to constantly modify my behaviour until the required behaviour of the other is attained.
RAPPORT, HOW TO BUILD AND IMPROVE RELATIONSHIP SKILLS- Recognising the fact that “ we all like people who are like us”